The Middle of Bumfudge Nowhere
by LabRatsWhore
Summary: One both Zay and Lucas get their Driver's license, they decide to go on a road trip with the rest of the gang, plus Josh. The Gps battery died with no warning, and the only map they have is "from the goddamned 1800s" as Zay would say. And Tennesee is nowhere near California.


**Note: This has minor mentions of lab Rats and that's ok.**

 **For those of you who have seen my instagram, twitter, or tumblr (all LabRatsWhore), or I've told you on fanfiction or you know me in real life (I hope not) and have stumbled upon this, I broke my ankle.**

 **and I don't want the Narcos, even when I do need surgery. Like I won't take them unless I really need them, even in the hospital. We can't see the Orthopedic Surgeon until the 9th, and it's fucking 42 goddamned minutes away.**

 **and I've been wanting to write a GMW fic for some time anyways.**

 **Also, side note, Lee Norris aka Stuart Minkus is a really hot peice of ass.**

 **And it's probably best that Ski Lodge went differently in this timeline.**

 **I belive that while Farkle does not have Asperger's Syndrome, he could still be on the Autism Spectrum, like me, I'm on the Autism Spectrum but high functioning.**

 **This is set during Season 4/5 with Josh/OC, Lucaya, Riarkle, and Zaydora.**

 **And the official title for this is 'The Middle of Bumfuck Nowhere' but I'm trying to stay under the radar after I had to deal with some betch reporting me for no reason and having one of my stories removed but luckily I was able to just put it back up and up the rating. SO be sure to back up your stories kiddies.**

 **Like this is only rated M for safety cause of the swearing an d my anxiety making me paranoid.**

* * *

Lucas and Zay both got their driver's licenses right after they turned 17 because they had been driving on the farm since they were old enough to walk, well at least 'helping' their fathers steer the tractor or the truck. So Naturally they wanted to go on a road trip over Spring Break. However, Topanga had a huge case she was working on, Shawn and Katy were going on their honeymoon since they couldn't go right after they got married, Corey had to go see his parents in Philadelphia, Lucas' mom was busy working since she was a nurse, and Zay's parents weren't allowed to get off work by their employer.

So naturally, Josh volunteered to be their chaperone. Cory didn't want Riley alone with boys, even Farkle, but Topanga agreed as long as Josh's girlfriend, Breana, would come along to help chaperone the kids. Stuart was ok with it since he trusted the Matthews (and having to go on a business trip while sorting out divorce papers), and Katy knew that if she didn't agree that Maya would be home alone with Riley. She blackmailed Shawn into getting him to agree.

Breana had been dating Josh for at least a few months since he met her while volunteering at a soup kitchen over the summer. She ran away and was having trouble finding a job, so he offered her one at the family camping store. She didn't want to accept it, but he insisted, telling her "A pretty girl like you shouldn't be out on the streets." He got to know her, learning that she had ran away from home after everything that had happened with her family. She was a tiny woman, she was only three inches shorter than him but she was so skinny. Josh took every opportunity he could to feed her when he wasn't away at NYU. He was going to get an apartment next year so she could

It took a lot of arguing to agree on a destination, but they finally agreed on Santa Cruz, California. Farkle and Smackle wanted to go hiking, Riley and Lucas wanted to go see horses, and Maya and Zay wanted to go the beach. Maya jokingly suggested getting fake IDs and sneaking into a bar. Of course she said that when the only 'adults' around were Breana and Josh. Josh had glared at her and Riley had slapped her hand over her mouth. Breana just rolled her eyes, holding Josh's hand all lovey-dovey.

"So you're the famous Breana." Zay flirted with her, grinning. Josh glared at Zay while Breana shifted on the balls of her feet. Zay held his hands up in defense while he backed away from Josh. "I apologize for him in advance. He doesn't know when to keep his big mouth shut." Lucas told Josh. "Hey!" Zay shouted. "Thank you for stating the obvious, Huckleberry." Maya grinned at Lucas. Riley chuckled, holding Farkle's hand. "So when are we leaving?" Someone finally thought to ask. It was Smackle, after she had finished smacking Zay's shoulder.

Lucas and Zay looked at each other. "We hadn't though about that." Maya rolled her eyes. "Of course you hadn't." She playfully shoved Lucas. "Well it's a one day and nineteen hour drive, so we should leave either Friday night after school or early Saturday morning." Breana told the six younger teenagers. "Ewww morning!" Maya whined. "I'm not waking up early on a Saturday." Zay said. Farkle and Smackle rolled their eyes at the same time. "Then we're leaving Friday night." Breana decided for them. "Don't I get a say in this?" Josh asked. "Nope." Breana teased him. Josh rolled his eyes, pulling her in for a kiss. "Uncle Boing, that's gross!" Maya whined. Lucas kissed Maya in retaliation.

"Uncle Boing?" Breana raised an eyebrow at Josh. Josh rolled his eyes, embarrassed. "She used to have a crush on me before she admitted that she liked Huckleberry here." He told Breana, running his hands through her long brown hair. She blushed deeply, kissing Josh back. "I don't need to see that!" Riley shouted before Farkle kissed her. Riley giggled, kissing Farkle while Zay twirled Smackle around.

* * *

Come Friday, everyone was all packed except for Maya. Who just threw some stuff in her suitcase after school. "Really Maya?" Lucas asked when he opened her window to pick her up. "Oh hush that pretty little mouth of yours, Huckleberry!" Maya hissed at Lucas. "Ok." Lucas chuckled. He had just a backpack with him, while Maya had a roller bag and a giant purse. "Do you really need that much stuff for just a week?" Lucas wondered. "Yes I do Ranger Rick." Maya zipped up her roller bag. "Ok Short stack." Lucas resposed. Maya rolled her eyes. "It'll be easier to go out the front door." Lucas just followed Maya, locking the door behind them. "Do you need any help?" He asked her. "Nope, I've got this." Maya grinned.

Breana was already over at the Matthews with hers and Josh's things. Josh had to take the subway over from NYU since he had two exams today. Riley was all packed, just waiting for her friends. "Where are they?" She complained. "They'll be here." Breana reassured Riley, checking her phone. "Josh is on his was, he just got on the train so he'll be at the rental place in 20 minutes and here in 50." Riley nodded. "Are you going to be my aunt?" Breana blushed. "Me and Josh have only been dating since July." She giggled nervously. "Yeah, and it's now April. That's 10 months." Riley gushed.

Breana looked at Riley. "We're still young, and before Josh I was engaged." Riley gasped. "To who?!" She shrieked. Breana sighed. "Not so loud. His name was Marcus. We were dating for two years when he proposed on Christmas in 2015. We were dating for at least two years when he proposed, and we were engaged for five months when he died in the same explosion that took my legs and my hearing." Riley gasped again. "But your legs look so real."

Breana sighed again. "That's because my uncle has technology for androids like the ones in the terminator movies. He built my legs so that they would work with my body and look real and so that I would still be able to wear normal shoes and get pedicures." She explained. "That sounds really cool. But why did he make androids?" Riley asked. Breana looked Riley in the eyes. "Look, you can't tell anyone, but I'm one of the bionic superhumans. And yes, Josh knows. Kinda hard for him not to know when I have have super hearing and sometimes my heat vision glitches. Your grandparents don't know because I don't want to give them a heart attack."

"Do you have any other powers?" Riley asked, her nerdiness taking over. Breana pinched the bridge of her nose. "Yes, I have Energy Manipulation, Invisibility, Super Durability, and a few others. I can also speak just about any language in the world." She told Riley. "That's so cool!" Riley squealed. "Like I said earlier, you can't tell anyone." Breana reiterated. "I promise I won't." Riley whispered. "Good." Breana whispered back.

It was silent for a few minutes. "I've noticed your hearing aids before, but never said anything because I didn't want to be rude." Riley told Breana. Breana snorted. "How could anyone not notice them when they're pink?" She laughed. "Why are they pink if you don't want anyone to know?" Riley wondered. "Because of my sister." Breana chuckled before sighing. "You ran away then?" Riley frowned. Breana nodded. "I had to. There were too many memories and I needed time to grieve. I wasn't ready for another relationship, I'm still not, but your uncle helped me and he makes me laugh."

"Oh." Riley said, processing this new information. Breana smiled at Riley. "Let's stop talking about sappy stuff, Josh is going to be here with the van in half an hour, and I hear somebody at your window." Riley smiled back at Breana. "It's probably Farkle."

Riley was right, because seconds later Farkle himself popped into the living room carrying a small suitcase with a backpack on his back. "Maya is late as usual?" He asked Riley. "Yep. Lucas went to go get her on his way over here. We have to pick up Zay and Smackle. Josh should be here soon." Farkle plopped down on the couch.

Less than five minutes later, the doorbell rang. When Riley got the door, Josh was there with Lucas and Maya behind him. "I got the van and I found these." Josh referred to Lucas and Maya. "Does anyone else need to go to the bathroom first? Because I do." Breana announced. Everyone shook their heads. "You'll regret not trying to pee, but suit yourselves." Breana made her way to the bathroom.

Once Breana was back, they made their way to the rental van. "Ok, me and Josh are going to sit in the front, Maya and Lucas in the front of the middle, Zay and Smackle in the back of the middle, and Riley and Farkle in the way back." Breana instructed. Maya was about to say something, but Riley shushed her. "Listen to our aunt." Riley said before making some sort of weird face. Josh blushed. "Yeah, listen to my girlfriend, Moesha." He teased. "Only Eric get to call me that! And even then I still don't like it!" Maya protested. Breana giggled. Eric had taken to calling her Brenda.

"Let's just go before we get in a traffic jam." Breana said. New York traffic jams were always the worst. They were even worse than the Los Angeles traffic jams she was used to. And California didn't even really have a subway system.

They barely escaped rush hour after they picked up Zay and Smackle from Smackle's house, and soon they were on the highway out of New York.

* * *

"What the fuck is this? Josh what did you do?" Breana asked, rubbing her eyes before putting her glasses on. "I was following the gps, it's still on!" Josh whined. "I didn't do anything else!" Breana rolled her eyes, everyone else but Farkle asleep. She and Josh didn't want Lucas and Zay to drive at night. "Then why did we just pass a farm?"

"Because we're in Tennessee." Farkle looked up from the book that he was reading by flashlight. "Then how did we get so far off the highway?" Breana asked Farkle. "Since Josh is using the gps that came with the car." Farkle rolled her eyes. "Well how was I supposed to know?!" Josh whined. "Because you're an idiot." Breana grinned, smacking Josh's shoulder. "Ow!" Josh whined again, smacking her shoulder back. Breana rolled her eyes. "That could not have possibly hurt. Pull over and let me drive." Josh listened, not wanting to be hit again. Especially with how she had broken this one guys' nose that was drunk and was going to beat up Josh a few months prior.

Breana reset the gps to see if it would help. But it still to ld her to continue on the same way. "Farkle, by any chance, and this is a weird question, but do you have one of your father's gps' with you?" Breana asked him. "I actually do." Farkle said, reaching by his feet for his backpack and pulling it out. "Just plug it into the console."

Breana sighed in relief. "Thank you Farkle." She plugged the gps into a slot on the dashboard just as Josh pulled over so she can get in the driver's seat. She unbuckled and climbed over the center console once Josh got out of the car. Josh rolled his eyes. "You didn't have to do it the hard way." He chuckled. "Well the hard way is more fun." Breana grinned. "Oh really?" Josh winked at her, causing her to blush deeply. Josh chuckled, sitting next to her in the passenger seat.

Farkle rolled his eyes. "Don't be gross." Josh snorted. "Farkle babe, you have a girlfriend, and you two are going to be juniors soon. Junior year of high school is when everything changes." He chuckled. Breana saw Farkle blush in the rearview mirror. "Don't listen to the big dummy." She giggled. "Hey!" Josh whined, shoving her lightly. "Don't make me get into an accident!" Breana snapped at Josh, her heart pounding. Luckily she wasn't on the road yet.

Once the tension subsided, Josh fell asleep with his head against the window, followed by Farkle curling up to Riley after he read a few more chapters of his book.

Breana drove for a few more hours before she got tired and stopped at a rest stop so she could sleep.

* * *

 **It took me a while to finish this and I'm having surgery today to put a pin in my ankle. (ewww) It's at 3:30 pm and I couldn't have any food or dairy after 11 the night of the surgery night and I can only have clear liquids until 11 am. Ugh and the Nurse practitioner said that my surgery was going to be in the morning dammit!**

 **(and when me and my mother went to arizona for a week, we shared a big suitcase and each of us had our own carry on, no purses or backpacks, though that was the summer between 6th and 7th grade.)**

 **and I don't live in NY, I just used google so I have no idea if the distance from NYU to Greenwich Village is accurate.**

 **and the Marcus' death timeline is the same one as in one of my fics, Strong Enough.**

 **My surgery went ok, it was at the children's hospital so everyone was really nice and the anesthesiologist made sure that I had antiemetics since the risk of post op nausea is 40% w/ general anesthesia, though I don't get motion sickness with transportation, only with spinny rides and stuff like that. and even then it's more being dizzy than puking cause I have a strong stomach.**

 **And if anybody could come up with a tile for this part that would be great.**

 **Like I'm now two weeks and a day post surgery and I got my stitches out yesterday. They decided no cast and I get a boot, thought I'm still weight bearing for 2-3 weeks.**


End file.
